Act Your Age

I was walking through the supermarket recently, picking through the fresh vegetables. (OK, I was buying ice cream. And cake.) I heard a woman snap at the pre-teen that was with her. "Will you act your age?" Act your age. Do you even remember the last time you heard someone use that phrase? But, it did bring up a question for me. How does 46 act?

To a toddler, 46 is simply another playmate, just taller. 46 likes to play ball, enjoys eating cupcakes and talks back to Dora the Explorer and Diego. 46 doesn't like to take afternoon naps, but takes them anyway. 46 likes crayons and coloring books and can actually stay within the lines. And 46 knows lots of useful things, like how to read, how to drive and how to buy toys.

To a 10-year old, 46 is a frail, white-haired senior citizen sitting quietly on a park bench, feeding the pigeons and waiting for death. Most likely, 46 breaks pretty easily. To move around, he would need a cane. Or better still, a wheelchair. And if 46 is lucky, he still has at least some of his teeth. But probably not too many.

To a teenager, 46 is the clueless adult who doesn't understand anything. 46 is the person who needs someone much younger to explain how things work, such as the camera on a cell phone or the car's GPS. 46 was clearly never in love, which is why he is clueless when it comes to understanding the real, deep, angst-filled love that teenagers experience on an hourly basis. But, since 46 comes equipped with a wallet and car keys, it's best to at least try and keep one around. Just don't tell him too much.

To an adult, 46 is a graying at the temples kind of guy. He's married, most likely for the second time. His daily routine consists of heading to a job he's become numb to and then going back home to his second wife and young child. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage, one that's about to enter his/her first year of college and one that's now a sophomore in high school. His ex-wife barely speaks to him, unless it's about money. He barbeques on weekends in the summer and he's tired a lot of the time.

Clearly, toddlers are smarter than everyone else.

I'm 46. I keep a rubber rat on a bookshelf in my office. I sometimes dance in places not known for dancing, such as the aisles of my local Stop & Shop. I own the DVD of "Wallace & Gromit, the Curse of the Were-Rabbit" and enjoy reciting some of the lines along with the Plasticene characters.("I'm just crackers about cheese.") I have named the small stone gargoyle in my living room, Fidel. I own three "Cat in the Hat" style hats, all in different colors. I also own property, pay my taxes, make a living and can manage to paint a room. I vote, I cook, I clean. I like a good afternoon nap.

So, if anyone ever says "Act your age", I have my response. Because no matter what I'm doing, from coloring to cooking, the answer is a very simple "I am."