Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself and screamed out “OH MY GOD!! THAT’S ME?!”
If you’re over the age of 40, then of course you have. It’s quite shocking how shocked we can sometimes become when confronted by our own image. Why the surprise? It’s not like we’re not familiar with the physical changes that take place over time. We see ourselves every day. And yet, every now and then someone shows you a just-taken picture of yourself and you can’t help but wonder how so much could go so wrong so quickly.
And somehow, you didn’t notice.
We all carry around an image of ourselves in our heads. Maybe it’s an image of how we once looked, or the way we would like to think we appear. Often that image becomes trapped in a time-warp. Your drivers’ license may clearly state that 40 has come and gone but, in many ways, your head continues to whisper a soothing “Don’t worry, you still look like you did in college.” But then that photo or video hits you square in the crows’ feet and your disillusions disappear faster than a Lindsay Lohan rehab stint.
I bring this up, because recently there was a photo of me tagged on Facebook. I’m sitting in a chair at a christening party, a friend’s little toddler sitting next to me. We’re both smiling widely for the camera and no doubt, in my head I was imagining how some stranger might come across that picture one day and say “That little girl certainly has one handsome young-looking dad.”
Not quite.
Instead, anyone looking at that photo pretty much has three options for comments:
• “Someone ought to tell grandpa to stop hitting the carbs.”
• “Isn’t that the same skin color they put on Robert Pattinson for the Twilight movies?”
• “Dude, your forehead goes all the way to the back of your head.”
It felt like someone took the image I carry in my head and exposed it to some age progression technology. A lot of it. This couldn’t be the guy who’s teeth I brush every day or whom I give a seductive wink to in the mirror on the days I think he looks particularly debonair. The guy I usually envision is still vibrant, with a thick head of hair and skin as smooth as the chest of a just-waxed Chelsea boy before heading out on a Saturday night. And the guy in the pic is, well, not.
It took a little while - and a lot of wine - before coming to the realization there is a good side to these confrontations with our own images. Even mine. They can help shake us up a little. Maybe that unflattering photo of you brings about a vow to lose a few pounds. Or maybe you finally admit that everyone was right when they told you those pants you love make your ass look like it’s sagging to your knees.
So, what do you do when confronted with yourself? Scream? Cry? Call Joan Rivers and ask for a referral? Well, maybe. But it seems to me there’s a lot to be said about learning to do something positive, although I'm not sure I have the hang of it just yet. Accept that there’s no stopping time from going by. Look at the things you can change to make things better and do them. Eat healthier, get more exercise. Work less and enjoy family and friends more. But mostly, relax a little and be happy that you've been around long enough to experience those changes as they take place.
And if that doesn’t work, we can get Joan on speed-dial.
