At exactly what age does someone reach the beginning of "middle age"? Some say middle age begins at 40. Others insist it doesn't happen until you reach 50. For me, the realization that mid-life had arrived started sometime last year, at the age of 45. I was sitting quietly on the couch, watching TV. Dinner, on the night it occurred to me I was middle- aged, was a bag of microwave popcorn and Diet Coke straight from the bottle. And suddenly I got a glimpse of myself and thought "Shouldn't I be further along in my life than this? After all, I'm 45 years old."
45. Mid-life had crept up on me. As I sat and chewed I began listing the things I had been quietly collecting over the past few months for a battle with age that I hadn't even noticed I had started to fight:.
- L'Oreal Moisturizer for the wrinkles around my eyes
- the heating pad for my sometimes sore lower back
- Metamucil for, well, you know.
OK, purchasing 3 "old age" items didn't seem so bad. Then I remembered:
-Neutrogena Eye Reviver for the bags that appeared every morning
-teeth whitening strips to battle the years of caffeine and red wine
- hair thickener for the top of my head where the scalp was beginning to peek through
OK, six things. And then:
-liquid vitamin E for when the skin moisturizer didn't seem enough
-foot massager for the days when my feet hurt.
I set the popcorn and soda aside and took a quick walk though my house. What I found wasn't reassuring:
-All of my old pants with the 29-inch waist were put away and gathering dust. The 30-inch waist pants that had replaced them were now replaced with the 31's.
-The weight bench and weights that I had used on a fairly routine basis just a few years ago, were so covered in thrown-off clothes that it looked like a huge pile of wrinkled cloth.
-I had three pairs of eyeglasses: one for home, one for work and one in the car because not only could I not see clearly, I could never remember to bring my glasses with me when I went out.
-Someone I knew mentioned wanting a Wii and I had no clue what she meant.
-Social Security had sent a rundown on how much I would get when I retired.
I'm sure that being 45, married and straight is no picnic. But being 45, gay and single is a potential nightmare waiting to pounce. Mid-Life was going to take a little thought. So I popped another bag of popcorn into the microwave and opened another bottle of Diet Coke (Caffeine-free, can't have caffeine after 6:00 PM)
Mid-life needed a plan.
2 comments:
Well: I sent this as reply to your posting and it was returned to me by Craigs. Then I looked for your posting and it was gone. Why?. Did you chicken out? So here is the comment I sent, anyway.
==================================
Very funny.
This is the first time I respond to a Craigs posting not trying to line up a hookup!
While you are pondering about being 45, gay, and single, here is more material for you to reflect upon: you could be 64, bisexual and married.
You could be told you are "cute" and "hot" but it still takes a hell of a lot of energy and work to get action. So, while you exercise to remain in your size 31 jeans, things will be more and more challenging. Sorry.
Looking forward to your next posting. Popcorn microwave and diet coke? Ugh - you should try Coke Zero: it tastes more like real Coke with sugar!
"Bald Polar Dad"
(in northern Hudson Co.)
No baldpolardad, I didn't chicken out. I apparently violated the craigslist rules by posting, was flagged and deleted.
Thanks for the comment!
Post a Comment