No-Shows Will Be Billed

As everyone that reads this blog (a/k/a both of you) knows, last month, I pulled the quad muscle in my left leg, thus sidelining my assured later-in-life career as the world's first middle aged, novice triathlete. I had completed my first ever race, felt the joy of crossing the finish line and then, perfect physical specimen that I am, ended up limping my way through the next couple weeks calling out for painkillers and ice packs. After 2 weeks of ongoing soreness, it seemed time for a trip to the Doctor.

Dr. G has been my doctor for about 15 years. He never seems particularly pleased to see me, and I suspect it's because I usually comment on something, and he finds it irritating. When he had a waterfall installed in his waiting room for instance, I questioned how wise a move it was considering the effect the falling water sound would have on patients with bladder problems. He wasn't amused. This time, there was a note attached to the inside of the door in the exam room that read "Patients Who Do Not Show for Appointments Will be Billed for the Full Visit." I kept looking at it as I sat on the examination table, waiting. When the doctor walked in, the conversation went like this:

Dr. G: Thomas, it's been a long time.
Me: Hello, Dr. G. Can I ask you about that sign?
Dr. G: (sighs) What sign?
Me: That one about billing people who don't show up. It's posted on the inside of the exam room, which seems an odd place. The only way to see it, is if you're already here.
Other than a stone-cold silence, there is no response from Dr. G.

Anyway, after examining my leg, Dr. G says there will be no running for one month. He gives a very long description of the quad muscle and exactly why it takes much longer to heal than other muscles. Still, a month long hiatus seems a tad excessive, so I say "A month long hiatus seems a tad excessive." This is when he decides to get even for the no-show patient sign comment. He tells me about professional athletes and how when they injure the quad muscle, they are often out for six to eight weeks. "These are people in top physical shape" he says "and that's not you." Ouch. He then decides to nail the coffin shut by adding "Besides, you ARE 46 years old." I swear I saw the slightest of smiles as he savored the taste of revenge.

Having to drop out of the Pride Run scheduled for June 28th was difficult. I had really been looking forward to running it. Having to drop out of my running group, and knowing they continue to get together on Tuesdays and Saturdays without me, was more difficult. I've become very fond of the people in that group and miss seeing how they all progress from week to week. But, just as I was feeling a little lonely...

Please see posting marked "You'll Never Walk Alone"